


Why am I here?

by Xenia



Series: Love is hard [1]
Category: Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Cesc Fabregas/Gerard Piquè - Freeform, Edited Version, M/M, Zlatan Ibrahimovic/Josè Mourinho - Freeform, mentions of - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-07
Updated: 2012-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-30 18:38:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenia/pseuds/Xenia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this story in 2011  when Milan was eliminated from the Champions League by Tottenham.  After the game Zlatan called Gerad and Geri got on a plane and came to Milan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why am I here?

**Author's Note:**

> As I said I wrote this story in 2011 and I posted it the following year. A few days ago I happen to reread it and I realized that it really needed a rewrite to fix the mistakes and maybe explain a little better the psychology of the characters. So here it is. This is the edited version of the same story.

Standing in front of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s door Gerard Piquè couldn’t help to wonder why he was there and he was quite confused about how he got there. Well he was confused about the thinking process that had convinced him to get on a plane and fly to Milan. It’s just that when Zlatan had called him, after Milan was kicked out of Champions League by Tottneham, he had sounded broken and sad and lost. Only Zlatan Ibrahimovic was too proud to let someone in on his sadness and Gerard couldn’t figure out why Zlatan had chosen to call him. After all they played together only for a year and even if he was one of the few player that talked to Zlatan and was friendly with him, he couldn’t say that they were good friend, to be honest he couldn’t even say they were friends. Truth was they were only teammates that sometimes happened to get a drink together and talk for a while. 

Besides if Zlatan’s reason to call him were a mystery Gerard was also really confused about his own motivation to be there. He couldn’t figure out what had possessed him to fly in Italy to comfort an ex-teammate whose team was out from the Champions League. That was something he would do for Cesc. And Cesc meant everything to him. Cesc was his best friend, his lover and he was as important to him as his girlfriend. So all things considered Gerard had no real reason to be there. Only he was. He was standing in front of a door and he didn’t even know if he wanted to knock or not, cause he wasn’t sure he wanted to see Zlatan’s reaction to his presence. It’s not like Zlatan was one of the kindest people in the world. 

His internal debate was cut short by said door swinging open and Zlatan himself appearing in the doorway.  
\- What are you doing here? – Zlatan asked him in his uncertain Spanish.  
And seeing him in person for the first time in months shed some light on Gerad’s reasons to be there. Because his heart started beating faster and he felt that familiar void in his stomach that felt every time he was with Cesc. But Gerard wasn’t ready to accept those feeling, because he had Cesc and only by being here he was cheating on him.  
He couldn’t tell Zlatan about his sudden epiphany, mostly because he had no intention of acting on it. So Gerard had no clue what to answer.  
After a few seconds he settled on a simple.  
\- May I come in? –  
Zlatan raised his eyebrow and half smile appearing on his mouth. Gerard frowned. It felt almost like Zlatan knew about his inner turmoil and had no intention of making this easier on him. Which wasn’t surprising. Zlatan was a good person, he could be very kind and attentive, but he really enjoyed making people fret.  
\- Actually I was going out, Gererd. – Zlatan said harshly.  
\- Always nice, Zlatan. – Gerard said. – I shouldn’t have come. –  
And for the first time since he’d arrived in Milan he really believed that. He shouldn’t have come. Now he knew why he was there, now he knew that what had pushed him to come had been attraction (and maybe something more, something that he didn’t want to examine any closer) and just being here meant cheating on Cesc, on some levels at least. Zlatan’s rudeness was just the icing on the cake. He definitely shouldn’t have come. 

Unlike Gerard, Zlatan knew why he had called his ex teammate. He wanted Gerard. When he first realized his attraction for Gerard, Zlatan had been confused. He was married and he already had a relationship with Josè Mourinho. But things with Josè had been tense ever since he left Inter for Barcelona and they only got worse when he chose to come back to Milan and play for Milan. By now they both had left Inter, but Josè still loved that team, he still felt connected with the fans and the players and he saw Zlatan’s choice to play for Milan like a betrayal. So things with Josè were tense and Zlatan didn’t want to make them worse by cheating on him. And yet he wanted Gerard, he had wanted him for a while now, and that’s why he called him. Cause he was sad and angry and he didn’t feel like calling Josè. And then of course there was Fabregas. Zlatan knew that him and Gerard weren’t just friends. And while Zlatan couldn’t care less about Fabregas, Gerard didn’t struck him as the kind of guy who would cheat on his lover.  
So now of course Zlatan was furious for himself. He hated himself cause once again he had chosen the wrong team and he hadn’t been able to lead them to victory and his chances to win the Champions League grew slimmer and slimmer every year. And he hated himself cause he had given in to his weakness and had called Gerard; hoping his friend would jump on a plane and come to him. Which he had done. But now that he had him here he wasn’t sure what to do. Maybe the best course of action was to be a decent person and not take what he wanted. Because Gerard was clearly conflicted, Zlatan could read it in his eyes and in the way he held himself. And Zlatan didn’t care about Fabregas and at the moment he didn’t care about Josè either. But unfortunately for some reason he cared about Gerard. And right now being nice would lead to something Gerard wasn’t ready for. So yeah, Zlatan wasn’t being nice. He was about to definitely close the door on the possibility of having Gerard. But something snapped inside him. He wanted Gerard, he had called him and his friend had come. He was here now, so the hell with it. He would take what Gerard was willing to give him. He sighed.  
\- You probably shouldn’t have, yeah. – He said – But I’m glad you did. So come on in, I’ll call Kevin and tell him I can’t go with him. – 

Gerard followed Zlatan inside without a word. He used the time of Zlatan’s phone call to look at his friend to try and figure out where exactly he wanted his early epiphany to go. Zlatan didn’t have the classic beauty of Cesc but he was beautiful in his own way. He sent out this magnetic pull and Gerard had felt it since the beginning. He looed harsh and full of himself but Gerard had always seen glimpses of something else, especially when Zlatan was with his family, his closest friends and Josè Mourinho. There was something that had always drawn Gerard to him and he hadn’t realized what was happening unitl he found himself standing on Zlatan’s doorsteps. And now he needed to figure out what to do with that something. And then he’d have to live with the consequences of his actions.  
\- I’m sorry for your team. – He said as soon as Zlatan hung up, and probably it wasn’t one of his brightest ideas.  
Zlatan’s eyes darkened almost immediately and his body tensed.  
\- Yeah, thanks. – he said trying to hide how much this loss stung, how deeply sad he was and how mad at himself he was for not being able to lead Milan to victory. A lot of teams he’d played for had been kicked out from the competition and then they had won the year after he left. He was starting to think that maybe it was his fault… - Congratulation to you, by the way. –  
\- Yeah, thanks. – Gerard said with half a smile. – You know playing against Cesc was hard… -  
And wow. Today was “the Gerard Piquè has only bad ideas” day. What was he thinking bringing his lover in this conversation?  
Zlatan’s eyes grew darker and his shoulder tensed.  
\- What are you doing here? – He asked the cruel bite in his voice was back full force.  
Gerard grimaced. He hadn’t come here to fight with Zlatan. He hadn’t come here twist the knife in the wounds caused by Zlatan’s team defeat. He had come here to comfort his friend… and maybe something else. 

\- …. Playing against Cesc was hard. –  
At Fabregas name Zlatan flinched. He should have followed his first instinct and send Gerard away. Letting in him was a mistake, he knew that and yet he did it anyway. It didn’t matter how much he wanted Gerard ( if he was a different person in a different situation he might say “care for”), if he brought Fabregas in the conversation now, then it was clear that they didn’t want the same thing. 

\- What are you doing here? – Zlatan asked.  
\- I don’t know. – Gerard said shrugging. – It’s just. You seemed sad over the phone and I thought that I could come and check on you. –  
\- Check on me? I’m not a child, Gerard. I can take care of myself, I don’t need anyone to check on me. – Zlatan said harshly. – You should go now. –  
\- You should really make up your mind, you know? First you call me, you let me in and then you kick me out? What’s your problem? – Gerard said.  
\- My problem? My problem? I’m not the one who had a problem, Geri. I know why I called you. But you? You haven’t the slightest idea why you came here. You’re here and you don’t even know what to do with yourself. So maybe you’re the one who should make up his mind. – Zlatan said.  
\- Why did you call me? – Gerard asked.  
He knew of course. Or at least he thought he knew. But if he really was going to do this, if he really was going to cheat on Cesc he needed Zlatan to say it.  
\- You don’t want to know answer. Trust me. –  
\- Why did you call me? – Gerard asked again. 

Oh the hell with it. Zlatan wasn’t good at not taking what he wanted. And Gerard wasn’t making things any easier. Gerard had come here and that was enough of a push for Zlatan to take what he wanted. So he walked close to Gerard, took his face in his hands and kissed him.  
\- That’s why I called. – He said immediately taking his distance from him.  
But Geri didn’t let him. He grabbed Zlatan by the arms and dragged him closer. And he kissed him.  
\- And that’s why I came. – he said.  
Things weren’t going to be easy. They had a lot of things to figure out. But for now that was enough


End file.
